The bookshelves of my mind
must be tumbled and jumbled
unsteady and cluttered, in urgent need
of repair and refiling or shredding.
How do I know this?
Because on the floor of my mind I constantly
find stray memories that have slipped, though
from which volume I know not.
Some are familiar, picked up and put back
innumerable times, but somehow always finding
their way back out, to flutter unbidden into
my consciousness. Usually embarrassing and
from decades ago. Mixed in amongst, sadness,
friends and family, gone, vanished, but not forgotten.
How rare the happy memories that arise spontaneously.
My antidote to this is simply to count my blessings.
I am what I am, and I am loved. I breathe in the scent of flowers
and feel the wind on my face. And above all of this,
I simply smile and record with joy all the good things
in my life and this world.
The locking nut that should have been tightened wasn’t.
But it passed the inspection and that’s all that matters.
The weather decides. Or does it? Perhaps sun and moon
Conspire together and the outcome of the marriage is
Wind and rain. Or frost and snow. Unruly children.
That together cause the leaves to fall.
This one before that one. But why?
God-like the tree that gives them life withdraws it too, job done.
They fall earthward, caught by wind and rain and careless feet
To land and stay and rot, to turn to mulch, next years food.
The driver was late. The delivery slot was now. So he went
Faster than he should have. Down the road made slippy by wind
Rain and fallen leaves. In his lorry with the loose locking nut.
What takes you out of the house? A decision? Or habit perhaps?
Shopping to collect. Job to go to? The need for fresh air?
Or is it fate. That puts you in the same place and time as your nemesis
Take care. Leaves underfoot can be slippy. Oops, What did I say!
In the wrong place at the wrong time was the verdict.
Many years ago, on a visit to London, I was at a tea party when an elderly English gentleman told me how much he admired the way I was prepared to say “I Don’t Know”. It’s important to be honest and truthful.
Quote from the Dali Lama in conversation with Gaur Gopal Das, 14/07/20
Sometimes a black bin bag filled with rubbish.
Occasionally – rarely – a cathedral filled with God.
More often a busy highway filled with ceaseless traffic.
From time to time, a beehive filled with buzzing busy thoughts
That fill it with movement and noise, but with little substance.
A bus stop, waiting, waiting for just the right word
That will take me to my destination.
An overstocked library with ancient tomes spilling out
Of dusty shelves, much forgotten, so little retained.
A haunted house, filled with ghosts from the past.
A deep bottomless pit down which all is drawn.
A black hole from which no thought can escape.
A house of illusion.
A theatre of the absurd.
A comedy theatre, where the most ridiculous plays are performed on stage daily.
When you draw near, a garden of love, fragrance filled
Glowing with colour and shape.
A garden of peace, God filled,
Full of fragrant blossoms and soothing colour.
A place of dreams.
But above all else, a place I know well, for this is where I dwell,
This is my home, my space, where only some may enter,
A space where I can bar the door and shutter the windows
Turn out the lights and escape into blessed sleep
In a universe where the passage of time
Can be measured by the disappearance of a mountain
One touch of a birds feather once in a thousand years
Where the galaxies are numbered in trillions of trillions
And in each are countless stars and planets like our own
You think your existence matters one jot?
The answer? Of course it does, why else would you
Be gifted a brain capable of understanding the Universe,
A brain which itself contains eighty-six billion neutrons
And it is estimated a whopping great 500 trillion synapses
You are as marvellous and as complex as all the galaxies
And all the stars and planets and every atom put together. The human brain has some 8.6 x 1010 (eighty-six billion) neurons. Each neuron has on average 7,000 synaptic connections to other neurons. It has been estimated that the brain of a three-year-old child has about 1015 synapses (1 quadrillion). Estimates vary for an adult, ranging from 1014 to 5 x 1014 synapses (100 to 500 trillion).